This week while Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, we in Canada are also gearing up for the season of giving. Signs (and advertising) about the holidays are inescapable, and in this season of gift giving (and over-giving) it’s easy to get swept up into the mood of consuming and the “joy of spending” for family, friends and significant others.

At Winnipeg Women/Winnipeg Men magazine, our holiday issue has just gone to press, and while it includes some glittering gift guides and wish lists, it also has a list of a few charitable organizations where people can donate their time, energy or financial support. I love this list (see below) and it reminds me of what Kahil Gibran said: “You give but little when you give of your possessions, it is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”

Here are a few charitable organizations in Winnipeg where you can share your joy this holiday season.

Champs War Amps Program provides financial assistance for artificial limbs, as well as counselling programs and seminars to bring young people together. To make a donation visit waramps.ca

Rossbrook House offers youth a safe alternative to the streets 365 days a year. For donation information go to www.rossbrookhouse.ca

The Manitoba Riding for the Disabled Association is a non-profit organization that provides a therapeutic riding program for children with disabilities such as cerebral palsy, visual impairments, autism and other physical disabilities. To make a donation go to www.mrda.cc

Meals on Wheels of Winnipeg has a long history of service and today their volunteers deliver to over 1000 clients in Winnipeg. For more information or to make a donation visit www.mealswinnipeg.com

The North End Women’s Centre has been serving women and their families for over 25 years, providing a place where women can receive the understanding, support and resources they need to make informed choices about their lives. For more information or to make a donation go to www.newcentre.org

Oyate Tipi is a non-profit organization that accepts donations of gently used household goods and furniture. All items are distributed to women and children who are trying to better themselves by escaping poverty or abuse. Schedule a free pick up by calling the Oyate Tipi donation line at 204-589-2265.

Siloam Mission serves people in need in Winnipeg’s inner city and offers a Christmas dinner. Financial donations can go toward the purchase of Christmas meal tickets (just $2.97 feeds one person) or to support other services. Online donations can be made at www.siloam.ca

Winnipeg Harvest is a non-profit organization that collects and distributes food to people who are hungry as well as offering training opportunities to help people step up and out of poverty. To donate money, food or time, go to www.winnipegharvest.org

Of course, donations can also be made to arts groups, health care organizations, foundations and other charities… it’s simply a matter of choosing who or what you would like to support.

For all those giving of your time, energy or dollars this season, may your gift(s) bring you and others great comfort and joy.

Enjoy the gift of giving, and have a happy, meaningful holiday season.

This week has been an eventful and insightful one. My dad passed away last week, after a long life (85 years) and a relatively short stay in hospital.  Now, with Dad at peace, the funeral and celebration of his life over, and my family having returned to their homes far and wide, there’s time for reflection.

Death, or even near death, always offers new perspective – on what we can and cannot control in life, on what truly matters… and what is simply irrelevant or insignificant.

As someone who has had a few brushes with death, I am always grateful for the reminder of how precious life is, and the opportunity to ask myself: Am I living in the present? Do the people I love know that I love them? And if this was my moment to “exit” would I leave the world a better place? In other words, am I doing what matters – to me and to others?

At my dad’s funeral, his granddaughter (my niece) read this poem by Michael Josephson.  It was a fitting and beautiful tribute to my father, who led a life of authenticity, kindness and generosity that mattered to so many. In this poem, Josephson truly captures what in the end will be the measure of one’s life.

What will it matter?

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.

So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won’t even matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.

Even your gender and skin colour will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built,

Not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.

It’s not a matter of circumstances but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

Earlier this week while Canadians celebrated Thanksgiving, I’m was in North Carolina with my mastermind group of 11 other women entrepreneurs celebrating victories such as a new book being published, six-figure incomes and brilliant ideas for new business programs.  And while the air of success was running rampant in the room, there was also a great feeling of gratitude that we had all met, gathered and continued to support and inspire each other – on both the business and personal front.

Grateful to be part of this amazing group, it got me thinking about being thankful.

“Positive thanking” is as powerful as positive thinking. One inspires the other, and the simple act of saying “thank you” creates a more positive experience. When you want to improve your mood, enhance your relationship, your business or your life, or simply change the focus from something negative to positive, saying “thank you” can do just that.

Gratitude has instant “feel good” power. It feeds the soul and fuels the heart. Giving a sincere “thank you” creates a kinder, gentler society.  Kindness begets kindness, and when something good happens, and we acknowledge it, the positive effect is amplified.

Many human beings have a great capacity for taking things for granted and as someone once said, feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

Gratitude opens the gates to receive more blessings, abundance and opportunities. Saying, “thank you” for the actions, things and people that matter not only makes you feel better, but also can gather momentum to attract more good things.

The Universe, like most people, likes to be appreciated and then just wants to help out even more. Invite gratitude in first, and success and wealth will follow.

There is also merit in being grateful for “gifts” we would rather have not received. Think of the (many) times you’ve heard someone say, “Thank God, I didn’t get that job,” … or marry that person, buy that house or get into that car. Sometimes giving thanks assumes a kind of spiritual or personal victory.

Life may not always be fun, or easy, but it is a gift. When we are grateful for life and all its experiences – painful and otherwise – we become better people. We can be thankful for difficult times, when we see that difficulties are meant to rouse not discourage us. Even gifts wrapped in heartache are valuable, when we can recognize (and feel) the deeper meaning. As Eckhart Tolle says, “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.”

Gratitude also puts you in a place of contentment rather than one of lack or neediness, and that is a much healthier space from which to create or attract greater success and abundance. When you realize there is nothing lacking, a world of opportunity opens to you and you find the strength, energy, and even joy, to carry on. I love how Winston Churchill put it: “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”

In short, an attitude of gratitude allows space for even greater good, support, and acts of kindness to enter in, and “thank you” together become two of the most powerful words on earth.

Today when I read Louise Hay’s “Power Thought” and affirmation, “My home is a peaceful haven,” I began thinking about the hundreds of thousands in Japan, who are without their homes, or any haven. After Friday’s devastating earthquake, massive tsunami, and now, in some parts of the country, the threat of nuclear radiation, life in Japan is far from peaceful.

However, watching world events, in Japan and elsewhere, I am reminded that in times of crisis we can bring peace to the world by being at peace with ourselves… and sending our light and love across the globe – wherever it is needed.

A few years ago, my home was graced with the presence of eight Tibetan monks, who were in Winnipeg to raise money for their monastery in India. They were staying with a friend of mine, and when I asked what I could do to help she said, ”You could have them over for dinner.” So I did.

It was a rather memorable dinner party – and evening. We shared a meal, stories translated in Tibetan and English, and a sacred ceremony to bless the house and everyone in it.  According to the monks, my house already had “very good energy” and after their chanting and blessings, I could actually feel the energy shift to an even higher vibration… one that radiated far beyond my four walls, and far beyond that evening.

At home with 8 Tibetan monks

In my living room – with eight Tibetan monks sitting in their saffron robes on a round sofa that looked liked it was custom-designed just for them – I realized we really do live in a global village, you never know who might drop by, and intentional energy combined with group consciousness has great power.

We are all connected. We are all one. One spirit. One love. One planet.

And today, the peace in my home and in my heart goes out across an ocean to Japan.

Namaste.

The Christmas holidays are over and we’ve just been through the season that’s all about giving… and how that’s so much better than receiving. (Which many of us believe, deep in our hearts, until we see our credit card statements).

But when it’s all about giving, without receiving in return,  the “well” ultimately runs dry — the well of our emotions, energy, time or money.

Many of us continue to give, give, give, while resisting receiving, because it’s just too hard to accept help, gifts or even a compliment.  Why is that?

My good friend Lisa Zimmerman, at www.soullevelsolutions.com, says that giving is easier than receiving because when we give we are in control, when we receive we are not.

Lisa is so attuned to the power of receiving, she’s delivering a three-part telecourse called “The Beauty of Receiving.” And when she discovered my independent, totally self-sufficient, do-it-yourself nature, she suggested I sign up.

So I did.

And here’s what I’ve learned.

These are the big obstacles to receiving everything from support at work to help around the house, or just a little extra love from your friends and family.

1)   Safety and trust issues. Boundaries – emotional, physical or sexual – were crossed, as a child or as an adult, and you believe it’s much better to keep others at arms length because being vulnerable is not ‘safe.’ You resist receiving help, gifts, or even acts of kindness, because others ‘can’t be trusted,’ there must be a hidden agenda or strings attached.

2) Beliefs about worthiness. You don’t believe in your self or your talents because you were judged, criticized or neglected; nothing was mirrored back to you about your own inherent value. You’re not sure you ‘deserve’ to receive gifts, help or an abundant life. After all, what have you ‘done’ or achieved to get it?

3) Having to be an adult as a child. You never experienced the luxury, and necessary stage of development, of being a self-centred toddler or child. You had to take on the responsibility of caring for siblings, parents or others, without ever being taken care of yourself.  You’ve grow up to be a superb do-it-yourselfer, who’s good at being in charge, but lousy at being vulnerable or appearing to need help… with anything.

4) Total neglect. Without any real attention, care or nurturing as a child, you basically raised yourself. Today you’re totally independent, without any “need” to receive because that was the blueprint laid out for you early in life.

5) Belief that giving requires ‘sacrifice.’ You have been raised to believe others’ needs are more important than yours, and that for you to receive someone else has to go without, or not have their needs met.

If any of these barriers ring true for you, fear not.

Here are a few ways to change your receiving signals and get what you want (and what you need).

1)   Re-parent yourself by changing your negative beliefs about who you really are and your role in the world, or find someone you trust to give you new positive messages about your true value, worthiness and right to receive.

2)   Shift your mindset and take “response-ability” for how you respond to others. Are you willing to ask for help and be open to receive? Ever?

3)   Check your expectations. Learn to expect help (in a kind, not demanding way). When you expect people to help you, you can usually find people to help you.

4)   Surrender control. If you’re used to running the show and managing even the smallest details, ask yourself: “What will happen if I don’t run everything?” And also ask: “Is this really my job?”

5)   Create space to allow help, and others, in. If you’re speeding around doing it all and are ‘too busy’ to stop, there’s no time or space for help to enter in. Stop. Slow down. And open up.

6)   Choose your thoughts. Negative thinking  — especially judgement of yourself or others – prevents you from receiving.  What if you look for the best in others or a certain scenario rather than the worst?

7)   Perceive everything as care. Reframe receiving as a good thing, not the universe implying that you’re inadequate or ‘helpless.’ Look for what’s good and you’ll create more of it.

8)   Let go of everyone and everything that doesn’t serve your highest good. This is a tough one for the “I’m not worthy” types, but you deserve to be treated as well as you treat others. And you get to decide who’s in your ‘orbit,’ your inner circle and your life.

It’s not better to give than receive; it’s better to give AND receive. The ‘love’ has to flow both ways.

When we receive, it does not take away from another. There’s enough sunlight for everyone.

So for all the control freaks, martyrs and “people who give too much” among us, ask not what we can do for others… but what can they do for us?

Or follow Lisa Zimmerman’s new mantra and ask: “I wonder who wants to help me today?”

If you need help being a better receiver, find out more at www.soullevelsolutions.com

Caps, gowns and loads of promise. That’s what I witnessed today, as I have at more than 20 convocations of Springfield Collegiate Institute, my old high school.

I’m there every June, not to relive my teenage years (they were hard enough the first time) but to present an annual award that is very dear to my family’s heart – The Grace Edie Memorial Scholarship. The award honours my sister, who was killed in car accident at the hands of a drunk driver in 1988. That year, my family not only lost someone beautiful but, as a friend said to me, my sister’s death was a loss to the whole community.

So to heal both a family and a community, we created a gift that continues to gives back, a $1000-scholarship to young graduates, who like my sister, achieve academic success but also give their energy, enthusiasm and encouragement to make a palpable difference in the lives of their friends, peers and fellow students.

This year’s recipient is a young woman who received the highest marks in accounting and marketing, was a peer tutor, and plans to pursue a career in medicine. And her mom went to school with my older brother.

There are many things I love about this day: the opportunity to remember my sister as the light in others’ lives that she was; the delight on the face of the award winner and his or her parents; and the promise of possibility that exists when we choose to look for the gifts that can arise even in tragedy.

I also love the example of generosity it sets for future generations. This year, my nephew Chad Edie (who was 6 months old when Grace died) flew in from Edmonton to present the 22nd Grace Edie Memorial Scholarship.

It’s never too late to do nothing – Zen saying

It’s not easy to sit still in a society that wears working 24/7 as a proud badge of honour, and blogs, twitters or downloads data every few seconds, but sometimes “doing nothing” brings us everything.

My favourite way to “do nothing,” i.e., to stop, breathe deeply and shut down the mental chatter is through meditation. Meditation, a few moments (or hours) of silence and stillness, allows us to clear our heads, listen to our hearts and calm our minds in order to go deeper.

When the mind is quiet we create a space where we no longer “hear ourselves think” and can open to receive higher guidance and wisdom.

When we are silent, we are listening with intent.

Deepak Chopra describes meditation as one of the best ways to get beyond our noisy internal dialogue to a state of pure awareness sometimes called “the gap,” a place of silence and stillness between our thoughts where pure consciousness exists. He says this is the ideal state in which to the plant seeds of intention for whatever you want to create or manifest in your life.

This week at my meditation class, in a state of deep of relaxation and inner calm, I “planted” my intentions for what I’d like to manifest in my life this year. I believe much of the abundance I have created in my life has been enhanced, guided and aided through regular, focused mediation. Although I’ve meditated on my own for the past 15 years, I began attending weekly meditation classes (and several weekend workshops) at Aromansse in Winnipeg about seven years ago.

Aromansse (which also offers aromatherapy, reiki, yoga, spiritual readings and more) offers meditation through Hemi-Synch, a program of specific sounds and tones, developed by Robert Monroe, that produces a focused coherent mind in various (deep) states of consciousness. Find out more about the audio technology of Hemi-Synch in this video.

Meditation and periods of silence, even brief ones, allow us to shut down the mind chatter and connect with higher energies or spiritual guides. But we need to create a space into which answers, clarity, creativity and even genius can flow. As Elizabeth Kubler-Ross said: “Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything has a purpose.

If you want to bring in higher guidance and create your life with intention, start by sitting quietly. When the mind stops, feelings, dreams, visions – and answers – rush in.

Don’t just do something – sit there.

I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver. – Maya Angelou

I’ve heard that performing an act of kindness not only increases serotonin (the happy neurotransmitter that affects our moods) in the person receiving the kindness but also in the person offering the good deed. And the chain reaction of goodness doesn’t stop there, even someone observing an act of kindness will receive a boost of serotonin. In other words, being kind to others – or witnessing it – may be better than a dose of anti-depressants.

And you may discover that when you give to others, you give to yourself.

During the holidays, when the spirit of giving (and hoping to receive) is ever-present, I’ve found a wonderful place where you can give to others while raising your own happiness and feel-good quotient to a new level.

Enter Kiva.org – loans that change lives.

Kiva is the world’s first micro-financing website where individuals (like you and me) can go online and lend to unique entrepreneurs around the globe, usually in developing countries. For as little as $25 you can make a loan and change a life. Whether it’s a rice farmer in Cambodia, women selling clothing in Sierre Leone or a small business in Peru, you choose whom you would like to support and Kiva looks after the rest.

Kiva’s field partners, micro-finance institutions operating around the world, approve and disburse the microloan to the entrepreneur in their community. Within 6-12 months the loan is repaid, and you can reinvest it with Kiva.org or receive your money back.

Here’s the story of a Kiva loan and how it all works.

A Fistful Of Dollars: The Story of a Kiva.org Loan from Kieran Ball on Vimeo.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. – William Arthur Ward

Saying “thank you” for the things and people that matter not only makes you feel better, but also can gather momentum to attract more good things.

When you want to improve your mood, enhance your relationship or change the focus from something negative to positive, the teachings of Abraham Hicks suggest taking a few moments to practice a game called The Rampage of Appreciation.

Here’s how it works: notice and appreciate your immediate environment, then continue to direct your thoughts and attention to anything that pleases you. You can do this anytime, anywhere, even for a few minutes. You cannot be defensive (or negative) and appreciative at the same time. As you concentrate on appreciating, then appreciation comes right back to you.

For example, here’s my “rampage of appreciation” for today.

I’m glad I woke up feeling good.

I love that I have the time to read the paper in the morning.

I’m happy my computer is working today.

I’m happy my brain is working today and the writing, words and ideas are appearing.

I love that I am able to do what I love.

I’m thankful for beautiful weather, and that there’s still no snow in November!

I’m thankful for friends, family and colleagues who make a difference in my life.

I really love cheap flights to Arizona.

I love that I have the opportunity to celebrate Thanksgiving twice this year.

And so it goes… the Universe, like most people, likes to be appreciated and then just wants to help out even more.

Find something or someone to be thankful for, even just a little bit, start your own rampage of appreciation… and see what happens.

Thanks for being here.

This month I’m taking a couple of writing workshops called “Writing Your Life,” with award-winning author and journalist Jake Macdonald. The essence of the sessions is to dig deep into our own memories, personal experiences and life events as sources for compelling stories. While some of you may be thinking stories and ‘too much information’ about another’s experience make for incredibly boring reading, often the contrary is true. When we find the meaning – or mystery- in our own stories, and real-life comedies or tragedies, we can help others illuminate the meaning and universal truths in their own.

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.” – Eckhart Tolle

They say life is not a rehearsal, well, neither is death. But for some reason I have had an unusual number of auditions that have allowed me to confront my own mortality.

In my life thus far, I have been involved in four major motor vehicle accidents, one as a pedestrian and the others as a driver, all of which could have abruptly ended my life. I have sustained a few minor injuries, but I have walked away from the wreckage every time. My younger sister, a passenger in one of those accidents, did not walk away. She died instantly after a head-on collision with a van on a small, two-lane highway on a dark November night. I was at the wheel when a drunk driver crossed into the oncoming lane, our lane, and annihilated the Toyota Celica in which we were travelling.

According to the accident reports, including evidence such as tire marks, the position of the vehicles and the massive damage, a RCMP officer told me that I came within four inches, literally, of being killed as well. After seeing the twisted piece of steel that used to be my car, many said it was a miracle that I survived.

Life is fragile, unpredictable … and often unexplainable. I get that.

Several years after the accident, I went to see a spiritual healer. I thought I had ‘dealt with’ my sister’s death, but apparently my subconscious had not. Here is part of the message I received:

There is deep mystery in choosing to incarnate on the earth plane. You have been a brave soul. You have chosen to be part of a deep mystery – one that has caused you very deep pain. Contemplate the possibility that by embracing the mystery, knowing that you cannot wrap a rational mind around it, you can let it go and embrace the mystery at a soul level. There is something beyond the rational. On a soul level there is always a connection; on a physical level the loss is real. Honor that. Respect that … but at the same time remember and understand that not all will be grasped rationally.

The car accident that took my sister’s life and the many other collisions I have survived have transformed my life and expanded my soul. After finding myself in a series of near-death experiences, I have come to accept the miraculous without any need, or logic, to explain it.

When you embrace the mystery at a soul level (rather than a rational one), you can live through great pain, great loss or incredible triumph without ever knowing why it has occurred.

As Henry Miller said, you can experience life as if everything is miraculous, or nothing is. Your experiences – internal and external—inform you and transform you. You are who you are not only because of what you lived through, but how you’ve come through it.

When you embrace life as the endless mystery that it is, without needing or demanding an explanation, you can endure even the deepest trauma without having to carry it with you.

If it is your soul’s intention to survive, you will. The most important question is not “Why did this happen?” but “What does this mean to my life?”

Perhaps Joseph Campbell said it best: “Life has no meaning, we give it meaning.”

What memories or events in your life have stayed with you? What deeper layers of meaning can you find in them?